Parenting the Attachment Challenged Child part 5 of 6: How to Overcome Lying by Bryan Post

Click Here for Part 4

Parenting the Attachment Challenged Child part 5: How to Overcome Lying

Telling the truth is very difficult. If telling the truth was an easy thing there would be few incidences of lying. When an individual, unconsciously, is fearful of being rejected, abandoned, ridiculed, or shamed, the prospect of honesty becomes daunting.

To continue our story from the previous article, following two weeks I had not heard back from the parents. Finally after six weeks I received a phone call, it was from the mother. She exclaimed, “Hello Dr. Post its Sharon from California. I know it has been longer than two weeks, but you won’t believe it, my son has made a complete turnaround! In fact, he has even gotten a job at the local swimming pool. Hallelujah.”

The recommendations were not magical. What is magical is when parents are able to see things differently. Two of the recommendations alone: Spending 20 minutes uninterrupted with their son each evening and telling him he’s never going anywhere, could have made a significant difference by themselves. In the United States the average amount of quality parent-child time is 13 minutes! They almost doubled that. In addition, John Bowlby, the father of attachment theory, stated that the threat of loss is equal to loss itself. In other words, you should never threaten to send a child away because of their behavior. If so you are going to create more fear which will only trigger the rejection they’ve already experienced. This will lead to depression, anger, and the need to lie better.

Thousands of parents have utilized The Three Step Lying Solution effectively. More than a handful of parents have reported using it just one time and their children have not told a lie since. Though it is simple, simple does not mean easy. In the next article we will discuss both why it is difficult to put into place and why it can be effective once you finally use it.

Choose Love,

B.

Have you read Bryan Post’s FREE e-Book How to End Lying Now: Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do to Stop It?

Post Weekly Contest Giveaways on Facebook! Make sure you stop by our Facebook page often as we are giving away books, DVDs, CDs and more each week for a full year. This is a chance to learn, play and interact with other committed parents and professionals and WIN! http://www.facebook.com/postinstitute

About Bryan Post

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Get a FREE download of the e-Book (pdf) as a bonus with this CD! — only $9.95
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For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – A Parenting “Hands-On” Home Study Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids and many other challenging behaviors and diagnoses.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
• www.postinnercircle.com – Where Desperate Parents Come for Solutions and Support. You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?

Peace or Stress? Mindfulness Tips for the Holidays #3 – Smile and the Whole World Smiles

Smile and the whole world smiles at you. We’ve heard it many times. We may have even grown up with it. We have heard things like “it takes more muscles to frown than to smile” or other life-isms about smiling. When I used to train telephone customer service people, I would put a mirror on their desk so they could tell if they were not smiling. I know that you can tell, when on the phone, if the person you are talking to is smiling. It is infectious, warm,  friendly and inviting. And it can be another doorway to mindfulness. Try smiling at your child the next time a negative behaviors occurs. Be mindful of any internal changes that you experience. Remember, smiling doesn’t mean you are “not serious”. It can mean “I love you no matter what”. And isn’t that our goal?

Smile – Even if you’re not in a happy mood, force yourself to smile. This simple act will relax you and brighten the lens through which you see the world. Smile at yourself and smile at others. Smile at knowing that you are here in the present with all the gifts it provides.” — Frederick Burggraf, The Mindfulness Wheel

Frederick Burggraf created a wonderful little tool called The Mindfulness Wheel (www.dayonepublishing.com). We will be sharing some of his quick and easy lessons over the next couple of days. Use them; let us know how they work and what you learn from them.

For more Love Based Family Centered Parenting information visit www.postinstitute.com and reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com. Also free parenting videos by Bryan Post on YouTube, and up to date information, discounts, weekly contests Like our facebook page.

Choose to Smile.

— David D

Peace or Stress? Mindfulness Tips for the Holidays #2 – You Must Be Present to Win.

You must be present to win. Not coming, not going, just being. Consider that where you are right now is where you are going. Always and forever. Nowhere to get to, nothing to do. There is only to be. There are a number of mindfulness (the non-judge-mental awareness of allowing “what is”) exercises that are helpful in regulating ourselves so we can help regulate others – our kids. Besides, it just feels better. Frederick Burggraf created a wonderful little tool called The Mindfulness Wheel (www.dayonepublishing.com). We will be sharing some of his quick and easy lessons over the next couple of days. Use them, let us know how they work and what you learn from them.

Arrive – No matter where you are or what you’re doing, you can arrive. See yourself exactly where you are. If you’re standing, feel the floor or ground beneath your feet. If you’re sitting, feel the chair under your backside and legs; feel the clothes on your body. As you move, feel your movements. —  Frederick Burggraf, The Mindfulness Wheel

For more Love Based Family Centered Parenting information visit www.postinstitute.com and reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com. Also free parenting videos by Bryan Post on YouTube, and up to date information, discounts, weekly contests Like our facebook page.

Choose to Arrive.

— David D

Peace or Stress? Mindfulness Tips for the Holidays #1 – I’d rather be here now.

I’d rather be here now. There are a number of mindfulness (the non-judge-mental awareness of allowing “what is”) exercises that are helpful in regulating ourselves so we can help regulate others – our kids. Besides, it just feels better. Frederick Burggraf created a wonderful little program called The Mindfulness Wheel (www.dayonepublishing.com). We will be sharing some of his quick and easy lessons over the next couple of days. Use them, let us know how they work and what you learn from them.

Breathe – Stop now and take a few deep breaths. Follow your in-breath and follow your out-breath. As you breathe in, relax your body. As you breathe out, empty your mind. Stay with your breath and ride it like the tide of the present moment. Frederick Burggraf, The Mindfulness Wheel

Choose to Breathe

— David D
For more Love Based Family Centered Parenting information visit www.postinstitute.com and reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com. Also free parenting videos by Bryan Post on YouTube, and up to date information, discounts, weekly contests Like our facebook page.

Parenting the Attachment Challenged Child part 4 of 6: How to Overcome Lying by Bryan Post

Click Here for Part 3

I once received a phone call from a distraught parent, “My fourteen-year old son lies non-stop about everything. It’s so bad that if he keeps this up we’ve threatened to send him to boot camp!” I thought, “That must be some serious lying!”

The teen had been adopted at the age of two, some early trauma was present. The father was a retired Vietnam veteran, which is typically an indicator at the very least, of exposure to a traumatic environment. Nothing significant stood out concerning the mother’s history.

As well as lying the child had been skipping class and wrestling practice, I gave the parent’s three suggestions to follow for the next two weeks:

1. Make sure that your son is attending all of his classes daily. Call the teachers, e-mail them, do whatever you must to ensure he is attending. If he is not, then we must focus on this issue first. Let him quit wrestling if wants to. Continuing to wrestle and being stressed out is not worth the positives that might be gained at this time. (This topic alone is fodder for an entire article!)
2. Spend 20 minutes of uninterrupted time with your son every evening, allowing him to talk about anything he would like. Turn off the television and put down the newspaper, just listen to what he’s talking about.
3. The main part of the Lying Solution: When he lies, take several deep breaths. Look at him with sorrow in your eyes because you now see the fear driving the lie. Ignore the Lie, but don’t ignore him and say, “Son I love you. You are not ever going anywhere, and everything is going to be alright. Do you understand?” Once he nods in agreement, turn and walk away. Never mention the lie. Wait one hour. Once you are calm, go back to him. Interrupt whatever he is doing. Take him by the hand, look him in the eyes and say, “Son, you know I love you right? I love you very much. When you tell me a lie it really scares me. It hurts me as well, because it tells me that you don’t trust me. Then I worry that I can’t keep you safe. I need you to know that you can trust me and everything is going to be okay. Do you understand?” Once the child nods his head in disbelief, you have officially completed the Three Step Lying Solution.

In the next article we will discuss the outcome of the 14 year-old and why The Three Step Lying Solution works so effectively. To be continued.

Choose Love,

 B.

Have you read Bryan Post’s FREE e-Book How to End Lying Now: Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do to Stop It?

Post Weekly Contest Giveaways on Facebook! Make sure you stop by our Facebook page often as we are giving away books, DVDs, CDs and more each week for a full year. This is a chance to learn, play and interact with other committed parents and professionals and WIN! http://www.facebook.com/postinstitute

About Bryan Post

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You’ll never believe how it simple it can be until you understand what really drives your kids.
————————————————————————————————
For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – A Parenting “Hands-On” Home Study Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids and many other challenging behaviors and diagnoses.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
• www.postinnercircle.com – Where Desperate Parents Come for Solutions and Support. You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?

Paradigm Shift by Bryan Post

A Paradigm Shift
“A paradigm shift is the way in which you see the world. The lens through which you view all people and things. It is greatly reinforced by the dominant society. In order to change your paradigm you must be willing to challenge your old beliefs. You must ask questions rather than taking for face value what has been said because many others have said it. You must question in order to challenge your belief system, in order to lead to a change in your thinking, and then in your behavior. When this occurs then you will be changing your paradigm.

Why is this so important? Because the way in which we parent stems from our paradigm. It is dominated by traditional thought at every level, engrained into our unconscious, our psyche, essentially defining who we are and how we relate. Go to a grocery store and ask your child to yell at you. Some of you may not have to ask! And then rather than smacking his face, shaming him, or yelling back, stop and breathe. Calm your inner self and observe those around you, feel their energy. You will be shocked by the negativity that is generated from the traditional paradigm. The people around you don’t know you yet they will judge you harshly. This intensity of negativity permeates our society and our relationships. There is no love here. As Gandhi said, “we must become the change we want to see”.

Choose Love,

B.

P.S.  Our Weekly Contest Giveaways are going on at our Facebook page for 52 weeks! We are in week 4 and our prizes are educational, training and even some entertainment love-based items from our web-store such as books DVDs, CDs and some exciting mystery prizes to come. Visit us often and interact with other committed parents and professionals.

About Bryan Post

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Want The Best for Your Family and Your Hurting Child? “My wife and I have adopted 4 kids out of the Foster Care system. We had 27 foster children. I can only say that I wish we would have known then what we know now. Bryan Post offers the only help for kids like these that offers hope, help and step-by-step guidance. Without Bryan Post we would never have come through.”  — David & Susan, VA.
This Course offers the most value for the least price. Yet you will be amazed at the progress you will make once you start working with it.

Parenting Attachment Challenged Children “Hands-On” Home Study Course by Bryan Post
is now available and includes the new 5 Hour Course on CD-Rom to accompany the workbook and 6 Hours of Video. This new program provides all the tools and understanding you need in order effectively parent your challenging kids. The home study course for parenting the child with challenging behaviors is life changing and is only meant for the serious parent or professional! This course with accompanying workbook and the 5 hours of course material on CD-Rom to follow along will make the concepts easy to work with. You will have step-by-step instructions on how to create a therapeutic healing environment for children with trauma histories. If nothing else works for your child, this may be the training program you have been praying for. You will never know unless you try it. This best-selling package will start you on the road to restoring peace in your family and give you a running start!

For the first time ever, the Post Institute has put together its most effective video, audio and interactive training program with ground breaking information by Bryan Post. The home study course comes with a newly released CD Rom five-hour workbook format that you can take at your own pace in the comfort of your own home. Includes our new five-hour training course, six hours of video training, downloadable audio recordings of the video presentation for playing on your iPod or MP3 player, a beautifully illustrated color workbook, a copy of the popular The Great Behavior Breakdown (an excellent manual for parenting any children—biological, adopted or foster care), an audio CD with Bryan Post offering his guidance on how best to make the necessary changes in your parenting approach to help your child move past the disturbing and frustrating behaviors, and a copy of Going Home Trouble Shooting Guide with summary points that can be easily read any time that you find yourself struggling.

By learning to calm the stress and diminishing the behavior, you will find peace, love and harmony where before there was only fighting and anger. You will never know unless you try this, but you might always wonder.
To read more, just click here.
————————————————————————————————
For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – A Parenting “Hands-On” Home Study Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids and many other challenging behaviors and diagnoses.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
• www.postinnercircle.com – Where desperate parents come for solutions and support. You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?

Parenting the Attachment Challenged Child part 3 of 6: How to Overcome Lying by Bryan Post

Click Here for Part 2

All day Mary had been looking for her bracelet, she knew for sure that she had placed it on the kitchen counter. “Maybe Peter took it? Surely not, what would he do with my bracelet?” Mary thought to herself. Wanting to believe that Peter would not have taken something from her again after just giving him several consequences the day before for taking things that didn’t belong to him, she reluctantly went into his room. There sat the bracelet in open daylight. When Peter came down for breakfast Mary politely asked, “Peter have you seen that little silver bracelet of mine?” Peter looked at his mother straight in the eye and said, “Nope haven’t seen the thing anywhere!”

Have you had this experience before? Sometimes your child seems to lie about things that are completely obvious? Other times it seems as though he’s just making up a story for no logical reason? Our typical reaction, “I can’t take this anymore. I can not take this constant lying any longer. You will be spending the next three days with no television. You must learn to start telling the truth. If you don’t start telling the truth no one is ever going to trust you.”

To help children overcome lying we must understand why they do it. The only time we tell a lie is when we are stressed and afraid. For a child with a trauma history, he will lie from a place of survival. During moments of asking a child to tell truth he fears that the worst thing that has ever happened to him is going to happen all over again. In that very moment, the child is further away from telling you the truth than you may realize. Literally, the child is afraid for the safety of his life.

A graphic example, imagine a sledge-hammer hanging over your head. You have been told if you tell the truth, the sledge-hammer is going to crash into your skull perhaps ending your life. In that moment someone asks you to tell the truth about the most ridiculous thing. You cannot do it. The fear is much too great and the only sure safety is to lie. In the life of the traumatized, attachment challenged child, his past trauma becomes his sledge-hammer, and insisting that he tell you the truth is only making it worse. To be continued.

Choose Love,
B.

Click Here for Part 4

What works and what doesn’t work for your challenging child and lying?

About Bryan Post

————————————————Advertisement—————————————————
Want The Best for Your Family and Your Hurting Child? “My wife and I have adopted 4 kids out of the Foster Care system. We had 27 foster children. I can only say that I wish we would have known then what we know now. Bryan Post offers the only help for kids like these that offers hope, help and step-by-step guidance. Without Bryan Post we would never have come through.”  — David & Susan, VA.
This Course offers the most value for the least price. Yet you will be amazed at the progress you will make once you start working with it.

Parenting Attachment Challenged Children “Hands-On” Home Study Course by Bryan Post
is now available and includes the new 5 Hour Course on CD-Rom to accompany the workbook and 6 Hours of Video. This new program provides all the tools and understanding you need in order effectively parent your challenging kids. The home study course for parenting the child with challenging behaviors is life changing and is only meant for the serious parent or professional! This course with accompanying workbook and the 5 hours of course material on CD-Rom to follow along will make the concepts easy to work with. You will have step-by-step instructions on how to create a therapeutic healing environment for children with trauma histories. If nothing else works for your child, this may be the training program you have been praying for. You will never know unless you try it. This best-selling package will start you on the road to restoring peace in your family and give you a running start!

For the first time ever, the Post Institute has put together its most effective video, audio and interactive training program with ground breaking information by Bryan Post. The home study course comes with a newly released CD Rom five-hour workbook format that you can take at your own pace in the comfort of your own home. Includes our new five-hour training course, six hours of video training, downloadable audio recordings of the video presentation for playing on your iPod or MP3 player, a beautifully illustrated color workbook, a copy of the popular The Great Behavior Breakdown (an excellent manual for parenting any children—biological, adopted or foster care), an audio CD with Bryan Post offering his guidance on how best to make the necessary changes in your parenting approach to help your child move past the disturbing and frustrating behaviors, and a copy of Going Home Trouble Shooting Guide with summary points that can be easily read any time that you find yourself struggling.

By learning to calm the stress and diminishing the behavior, you will find peace, love and harmony where before there was only fighting and anger. You will never know unless you try this, but you might always wonder.
To read more, just click here.
————————————————————————————————
For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – A Parenting “Hands-On” Home Study Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids and many other challenging behaviors and diagnoses.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
• www.postinnercircle.com – You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?

Parenting the Attachment Challenged Child Part 2 of 6 by Bryan Post

Click Here for Part 1
Stress plays a vital role in everything that we do. As an internal experience we rely on stress daily to stay alive, and engage the outside world. In addition, we rely on stress to fight illness, digest food, and recover from difficult times. Just to laugh is to experience a state of stress.

In considering parenting techniques for severe behavior we will be relying on a theory of human behavior called the The Stress Model. The Stress Model is a very simple theory of behavior that says, “All behavior arises from a state of stress and in between the behavior and the stress is the presence of one of two primary emotions: Love or Fear. It is through the expression, processing, and understanding of the emotion that we can calm the stress and diminish the behavior.

Very important point: There are only two primary emotions love and fear. Anger is not a primary emotion. It is a feeling that is secondary to the bodily experience of fear. A fear experience can occur through any of the sensory pathways. Through what you see, hear, touch, smell, taste, and even the temperature of your body. The experience of both stress and fear is cellular. It occurs unconsciously. You won’t always know what causes fear or stress. If you are seeing anger, rage, jealousy, and more it is arising from fear, rather than the anger.

Love is the space between two people. It is always present and surrounds us each day. The only thing that keeps us out of love is our fear. Since the presence of love is natural, it is up to us to put fear aside and step into the presence of love. You may have heard it said, “Perfect love cast out all fear,” or “Love and fear cannot co-exist.” What we have calmly come to perceive as love is only fear in disguise. Most often we do not see this because we fail to see our own fear the majority of the time.

When we begin talking about the specific severe behaviors it will be important to remember the fear and stress they create in the parent first. If you try to overcome fear by creating more fear, you only make fear greater. Action exercise: Try to see fear in actions between you and your child for one full week. You’ll be amazed.

Choose Love,

B.

Click Here for Part 3

Let us know what you think.  What did you learn? What Questions arise for you? What successes have you had with this information? What failures? Remember that failure is an important part of succeeding – always ask “what went wrong and what did I learn”. Without this we are bound to repeat and repeat and repeat and ….

About Bryan Post

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Severe Behaviors or Multiple Diagnoses? Strategies for Severe Behaviors in Adoptive & Foster Children Including RAD, OD, ADHD, Aspergers, Autism & Others – 4 DVD set

Bryan Post and Dr. Gizane Indart provide clear-cut understanding of the root of severe behaviors most frequently identified by parents and caregivers as troublesome and specific step by step strategies to eliminating these behaviors and creating healing and peace in your home. Learn why even adoption at birth is traumatic. Gain life changing insights to why your children act out, and what you can do to help them succeed. This program includes the How To End Lying Stealing and Defiance as seen in our YouTube videos 6 Minutes That Can Change Your Child’s Life (and Yours!) and 9 More Minutes That Could Change Your Child’s Life (Yours too). Approximate length 6 hours.

The answers to tough parenting  questions, though often simple, are not easy and require a uniquely different parenting approach. You will be amazed at the progress you can make once you begin to understand your child’s challenging behaviors.
To read more, just click here.
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For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – A Parenting “Hands-On” Home Study Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
• www.postinnercircle.com – You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?

Parenting the Attachment Challenged Child Part 1 of 6 by Bryan Post

There is much literature on how to parent challenging children these days. Unfortunately much of that literature does not typically address the child with special parenting needs and a special parenting understanding. A child that has been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, or even depression, requires an understanding not of the behavior itself, but rather of the underlying dynamics driving the behavior.

Take for example the analogy of an iceberg. Typically when we refer to an iceberg we are referring to what we see above the surface. However, 90% of every iceberg is invisible, lying under the surface. What you consider to be an iceberg is really only the tip. It’s an overwhelming thought when considering how enormous an iceberg is above the surface. Imagine the other 90% lurking underneath.

Negative behaviors demonstrated by children are much the same. Whereas we may attempt to remove an iceberg by hacking away from the top down, we will only be spending endless time and energy focusing on the smallest aspect of the iceberg. When we encourage parents to only focus on alleviating behavior through simple behavior modification charts, boot camp tactics, or logical consequences, we are actually missing the most important part of the behavior. Typically a focus just on the behavior may eliminate the behavior for a while to only see it return another day with greater intensity.

The next series of articles will detail specific parenting steps that can be taken to effectively help reduce problem behaviors in a rapid period of time with a specific approach to end the frustrating habit of lying. The steps will not be easy to implement, however with a firm resolve to stay the course the effectiveness of each approach is guaranteed to be effective.

Do you have a child with challenging behaviors? What is your greatest challenge?

Choose Love,

B
Click Here for Part 2
Click Here for Part 3

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Buried Treasure? You will begin to think so once you start reading From Fear to Love: Parenting Difficult Children by Bryan Post

“A Parenting Must-Have for Adopted, Foster or Biological Children – Honestly, it’s the best parenting handbook I’ve seen for someone with a child that has difficult behaviors… Even if you aren’t into reading, this book is a must have. If you are thinking of adopting a child, please read this book. If you have adopted a child, please read this book. If you yourself have been adopted, please read this book. If you’re a parent and have nothing to do with adoption in any manner, please read this book.” — Book Review By Literary Litter

You’ll never believe how it simple it can be until you understand what really drives your kids.
To read more, just click here.

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For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – A Parenting “Hands-On” Home Study Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
• www.postinnercircle.com – You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?

The Root of Attachment Challenges…Trauma, Trauma, Trauma! by Bryan Post

Many children with severe behaviors such as chronic lying, stealing, aggressiveness, defiance, setting fires, bed wetting, poor parental relationships, etc. are increasingly being diagnosed as having an attachment disorder. Though having a label may initially give parents some relief in being able to identify the condition their child is struggling with, typically it only creates a scenario for frustration, guilt, blame and resentment.

Unfortunately a diagnosis in the mental health profession is rarely a positive thing. No parent wants a child with a diagnosis because it implies some inherent defect of the child. To have your child labeled as having Reactive Attachment Disorder, will typically not bring a parent any heightened sense of relief.

We must begin to understand the children demonstrating such serious behaviors as the ones listed, among many others, have all typically experienced some degree of trauma. Historically, our understanding of trauma has been limited to the horrible experiences depicted in the media, however, trauma occurs in many more situations that we are not even remotely aware of. Especially as it regards small children, trauma can occur through the adoption process, foster care, loss of a parent, frequent moves or caregivers, prolonged illness, divorce, parental depression, automobile accidents, and the list goes on and on. We must understand that trauma is any stressful event that is prolonged, overwhelming, or unpredictable. When we have not had an opportunity to cry, talk, scream, grieve, and mourn a traumatic event, sometimes repetitively, that experience has the ability to impact us throughout the rest of our lives.

When a traumatic event has occurred early in a child’s life it can have an impact on the system responsible for helping him to handle stress, respond appropriately to fear, and form lasting attachments with others. This system is referred to as the regulatory system. When this system is impaired it leaves the child stuck in a pervasive state of fear and easily overwhelmed by the seemingly mundane task of daily life. Rather than being disordered in attachment relationships, the child is extremely challenged in the presence of stress within any relationship.

Choose Love,

B.

———- Adult Attachment Disorder Advertisement———-
Help for Adults with Attachment Disorder
Creating Healing for the Attachment Challenged Adult DVD Program by Bryan Post – includes live demonstrations.

Do you know adults who experience marital, financial, or parental stress? Do they have problems with social relationships or compulsive or addictive behaviors related to work, drugs and alcohol, food or sex? Do you know adults who report depression, or uncontrollable anger?

Did you know that the latest research from the field of neuroscience shows that for at last 93% of the people experiencing these symptoms there is a direct link to attachment issues? Adult attachment issues are rarely given the level of consideration needed to pro-mote true healing for adult. If you are working with adults experiencing behavioral health issues, you must have an understanding of how attachment issues impact us, even into adult hood…INCLUDES LIVE DEMONSTRATIONS!

To read more, just click here.
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For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – A Parenting “Hands-On” Home Study Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
• www.postinnercircle.com – You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?