We are moving to www.bryanpost.com. Come visit next week. Enjoy this interview with Karyn Purvis

This will be the last post for this URL. We have moved to http://www.bryanpost.com and all future posts will be there. We have greatly appreciated your visits and hope that you will continue to stop by, and that you will share the love with those you care about and help bring the new parenting paradigm. To thank you for interest, we have this very touching interview with Dr. Karyn Purvis (author Connected Child) that she did with Bryan. She has such a healing tenderness about her that touches my soul when I listen to her. Make sure you stop by and listen to this. She has a deep passion for children from hard places, and especially for the parents that care for them.

“I don’t love this child but I am willing to like him. What do I do?”
Dr. Purvis, author of The Connected Child, is an almost saintly compassionate and passionate advocate. She has lots of research to back up her approach as well as data from her work at Texas Christian University. This is one of the sweetest interviews we have. Plenty of specific things to do to help your child or families if you are a parent or a professional. She is the founder and director of the TCU Institute of Child Development and a passionate advocate for “children from hard places”, a phrase that describes children with histories of trauma, abuse and neglect. Dr. Purvis and her mentor and colleague, Dr. David Cross, currently lead the Institute in its triple mission of research, education and outreach on behalf of at-risk children. To listen to this interview Click Here.

We will be rolling out some new and exciting things on the new blog site and we look forward to seeing you there! Meanwhile I will be enjoying a Little reading time. Till next week then… Always Choose Love. Always. — B

 

Parenting Toolbox 18: Special Interviews in June; How to Handle Stress Mindfulness Video

Please Note: We are moving our blog to a new site. This is happening this week and we will notify you of any new URL address if it changes. We will be upgrading to a new and more exciting format. Thank you for your patience.

Click here to view Parenting Toolbox 18 Tonight starts special Interviews & How to handle stress

Bryan Post will be appearing on three internet interview shows stating tonight Tuesday June 12 at 9 pm and the last on June 26th. We apologize for the delay in getting this info to you. Even if you miss the live interviews, by signing up FREE you can get the recordings FREE for a limited time. See each description for time/date specifics. There are many additional presenters in each series which you may also enjoy. We cannot vouch for everyone as we don’t know them all, but some we love like Dr. Marcy Axness (author Parenting for Peace), Bruce Lipton and others. You may find a wealth of valuable information all FREE just for signing up.

Also, How Can Mindfulness Help with Stress Management? And Do Parents Need This? Heavens Yes! We have been searching for a good source for Mindfulness training that any person regardless of religious belief, or lack thereof, can benefit from. Although mindfulness and meditation practices have been on this planet for thousands of years, most of us know very little, and even fewer practice it. Although it can be used to enhance one’s prayer life, it can also enhance one’s parenting life – and life in general. We have found a group in the UK (GetSomeHeadSpace.com) that offers bite sized training and does so in a clear, simple and straight forward manner that anyone can use. No trips to the mountain top are required and can be done in the comfort of wherever you are – home, car, office or even in the midst of screaming and fighting with your kids. Their instruction is based on scientific research and their animations describing the process are entertaining and enlightening, making this quasi-mystical practice available to all. They have a free 10 training which takes only 10 minutes a day.

Have a Calm & Peaceful Week.

What Do Sex Trafficking and Foster Care Have in Common?

Answer: Foster Kids

Who would have thought? Chris Chmielewski founder of the new kid on the block Foster Focus magazine did, and this is what he found:
Sex trafficking is a universal problem. The sex trade industry is the third largest criminal industry, following closely behind the drug trade and almost tying second place with illegal arms trade. It is a 7-10 billion dollar industry in the United States. The United Nations has a record of 168 countries across the planet that engages in commercial sex trade of children. These countries are organized into four “tiers” with the United States among the Tier 1 group i.e., meets minimum standards for combating trafficking) with laws enacted since 2000 to protect our children.

Here, the numbers speak for themselves – 80% of young people in the business of human trafficking were once in foster care; over 1.7 million children are engaged in the human sex trade in the United States. Aging out the system, runaways, throwaways, histories of sexual abuse and abandonment are just a few of the causes that lead to later sex trafficking. The bottom line? Foster children are the most vulnerable children around the world and pimps are readily available and waiting to provide them with food, shelter, money – and exploitation. The cycle of terror, subjugation, and victimization then begins.

When we say that parents hold the future of the world in their hands-literally, we mean it. We can just keep going the same old parenting ways we have taken for centuries, or we change our minds and our hearts and shift to a new parenting paradigm. If we don’t, it will be more of the same (see above).

Interested in Foster Care. Check out Chris’s website and his latest issue – and get some great deals at his online auction to support foster care. You can even buy Bryan Post’s books for cheap there!

Always Choose Love. Always. — B.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
— Master Yoda The Empire Strikes Back: Episode V

Have you read Bryan Post’s FREE e-Book How to End Lying Now: Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do to Stop It?
Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do to Stop It Now! By Bryan Post
A book for all parents and professionals,so simple and powerful,that it will bring an end to your frustration over your child’s negative behavior.
Post offers a radical new understanding of difficult children – adopted, foster, diagnosed, biological, or grandchild. The Post Institute has helped families and professionals move from fear to love in their struggles with challenging behaviors such as defiance, disrespect, self-mutilation, cutting, hoarding or gorging food, stealing lying and more! This free book can get you started – see your child’s behaviors in an entirely different light and learn how to apply this approach. A truly love based family-centered model for many behaviors and diagnoses.

Post Daily Parenting Inspiration and more on Facebook! Make sure you stop by our Facebook page often for Daily Dose of Parenting Oxytocin, Special Discounts, Offers, Videos, News and whatever else we can pass along to our committed parents and professionals.

Parenting Attachment Challenged Children “Hands-On” Home Study Course
Want Serious Help — Seriously? This may be the answer you have been praying for. There really can be peace in the family with your child. Bryan Post‘s Powerful new program is now available and includes the new 5 Hour Course on CD-Rom to accompany the workbook and 6 Hours of Video. This new program provides all the tools and understanding you need in order effectively parent your challenging kids. The home study course for parenting the child with challenging behaviors is life changing and is only meant for the serious parent or professional This course with accompanying workbook and the 5 hours of course material on CD-Rom to follow along will make the concepts easy to work with. You will have step-by-step instructions on how to create a therapeutic healing environment for children with trauma histories. If nothing else works for your child, this may be the training program you have been praying for. This best-selling package will start you on the road to restoring peace in your family and give you a running start! You will never know unless you try this, but you might always wonder.

For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.

If you’d like to receive a FREE copy of our Post Parenting Toolbox each week, sign up on our home page.
Click on the image here to see a sample of a Parenting Toolbox.

Mindfulness and Meditation tips

Mindfulness and meditation tips « Psychologies.

We have been searching for some mindfulness & meditation (m&m) training info that is generic enough so any person, faith, belief (or lack of) can use. It seems we have found one. Both parents and professionals can benefit, as can mechanics, janitors, presidents of Fortune 500 companies and even kids. Here are some Q&As that can help better understand this simple yet somewhat mystically shrouded practice. Let us know what you think…

Bryan Post says don’t medicate problem children…

Yreka, Calif. —

Ph.D social worker, lecturer and author Bryan Post is clear on whether medicating children for behavioral problems is a good idea.

“I would never recommend it for kids,” Post says.

Post adds, and he presents evidence later in the talk, that he would recommend medication for parents.
“I would give Valium to parents,” Post says. “Calm down!”

As part of a three day training seminar in Yreka, attended by social services workers from throughout Siskiyou County, Post spoke on a number of issues including a seminar concluding talk entitled “Exploring the Use of Medication vs. Addressing the Root Causes of Behavior.”

Post stresses that working with difficult children is a matter of dealing with the environment and the relationship between the child and the parents.

Post extensively used an HBO documentary called “Broken Child” to illustrate his points to (Read Full Article)

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
— Master Yoda- “The Empire Strikes Back: Episode V” (We apologize for inaccurately portraying the source information. This was kindly corrected by Simon Atwood who’s blog It’s a Jung World helps to Educate People About Themselves)

Have a Calm and Peaceful Day.  — David

Have you read Bryan Post’s FREE e-Book How to End Lying Now: Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do to Stop It? Post offers a radical new understanding of difficult children – adopted, foster, diagnosed, biological, or grandchild. The Post Institute has helped families and professionals move from fear to love in their struggles with challenging behaviors such as defiance, disrespect, self-mutilation, cutting, hoarding or gorging food, stealing lying and more! This free book can get you started – see your child’s behaviors in an entirely different light and learn how to apply this approach. A truly love based family-centered model for many behaviors and diagnoses.

Post Daily Parenting Inspiration and more on Facebook! Make sure you stop by our Facebook page often for Daily Dose of Parenting Oxytocin, Special Discounts, Offers, Videos, News and whatever else we can pass along to our committed parents and professionals.

Parenting Attachment Challenged Children “Hands-On” Home Study Course
Want Serious Help — Seriously? This may be the answer you have been praying for. There really can be peace in the family with your child. Bryan Post‘s Powerful new program is now available and includes the new 5 Hour Course on CD-Rom to accompany the workbook and 6 Hours of Video. This new program provides all the tools and understanding you need in order effectively parent your challenging kids. The home study course for parenting the child with challenging behaviors is life changing and is only meant for the serious parent or professional This course with accompanying workbook and the 5 hours of course material on CD-Rom to follow along will make the concepts easy to work with. You will have step-by-step instructions on how to create a therapeutic healing environment for children with trauma histories. If nothing else works for your child, this may be the training program you have been praying for. This best-selling package will start you on the road to restoring peace in your family and give you a running start! You will never know unless you try this, but you might always wonder.

For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.

If you’d like to receive a FREE copy of our Post Parenting Toolbox each week, sign up on our home page.
Click on the image here to see a sample of a Parenting Toolbox.

Post Parenting Toolbox #17

Post Parenting Toolbox #17. Parenting Toolbox 17: Feature FREE Video Webinar – Oxytocin & Children, Meditation & Mindfulness can help parents WUSA TV 9 Fairfax VA News Report – If it can help our military – why not our parents? Spanish translations now being worked on for Bryan Post’s books.

I Don’t Care and You Can’t Make Me

We hear from many parents that have “lazy” kids. Not bad kids, just lazy as they see it. We have one of those ourselves. Cannot/will not pick up after himself, bathe, brush teeth, change underwear just to name a few (he is almost 19).  It is so easy to forget that our son, abandoned at 1 year old, in and out of foster homes till he came to us at 5, is not typical – because he is not a bad kid and does not have big problems-just a lot of little ones. It was interesting to note that at a party we gave him for his 6th birthday, when he was given gifts he remarked that he didn’t know people got gifts for birthdays. It broke my heart to hear that. So lets not talk normal, lets talk what is, without judgement and preconceived notions of what should be.

It is so easy to look at our special kids,  and because they are not really bad kids, to think of them as normal and typical. My worst days were always those when my child was behaving typically and I forgot that much of his neural network functioned so differently when pushed beyond his window of tolerance. When I forgot who he was deep inside and looked at who he was on the outside, all heck would break loose and I would react “normally/typically” with unreasonable expectations and reach in my parenting toolbag for my dominance and control tools. Not a healthy thing really – especially our special kids.

Bryan, in his answer to this parent, as always brings to our awareness some of the many, many considerations that we need to be aware of when parenting our special kids. Remember, if we loose the relationship, we have no influence. If we’ve lost that— we’ve lost everything.

Dear Bryan— What to do with an almost 15 year old son who is not doing his school work. Rude. Lies. He is a smart kid, no BIG trouble…..yet about to repeat 9th grade on pure laziness. His “I don’t care” attitude is THE WORST! — Mom

Dear Mom— One of the challenges for us as parents is to see no BIG problem as justification for not understanding why our children do what they do. We should consider for example…how many adults seemingly have no BIG problems yet are homeless, depressed, drug addicted, etc? The truth is that pain is pain as Byron Katie says. We judge the degree and intensity of every other persons process based on our own experiences. “No BIG problem” is one of the first breakdowns in your relationship with your son. It is filled with anger, judgement, resentment, frustration, being fed up, rejecting, threatening, sadness, remorse, guilt, shame and blame. All of that just from the perception of “he has no BIG problems”.

What exactly is a BIG problem? I, personally, seem to have no BIG problems. I have money, a house, bills paid, friends, food, drink, motorcycle, healthy, good looking if I must say so myself, have all my teeth, and a healthy beautiful family…no BIG problems right? Wrong. My biggest problem is that I live with a core of insecurity, terror, shock, and overwhelm. I was born with it. And it directs every relationship in my life. It has led me to have failed marriages, addictions, loss of friends, personal emotional turmoil, great sadness, depression, and anger. Someone might be able to look at me and say well Bryan is a good guy and has a great family, he doesn’t really have any BIG problems, why can’t he maintain relationships, have a great marriage, be a really present father? He has no BIG problems. The reality is that I have huge problems, problems that seemingly make me feel as though they are insurmountable, you just can’t see them. When you can’t see them then you judge me based on my behaviors, not an understanding for where I am within myself, what my struggles are or if I really do have BIG problems that you just don’t know about. And finally, when I am in survival, or your son is in survival just trying to cope day to day with breathing and living, that is all that we can do. He CANNOT care about anything or anyone else. He is trying to survive. Everyday that you come at him with “you have no BIG problems” so why aren’t you doing better, then you are only fostering his hurt and pain. The reason we do that is because we are taking personally the behavior of the other person and it makes us feel inadequate and insecure. Their behavior, your son’s behavior, makes you feel like you are not good enough as a parent. That’s a very painful place to reside. Rather than thinking and acting towards him like he has no BIG problems start working on your relationship with him in a way that will encourage him to share what problems he really does have and honor those problems as BIG problems even though they may be small to you, they are enormous for him. Once you do that then he will feel less stress and overwhelm, will feel like he’s not all alone, and then he might actually be able to care a little bit more.

Not sure if you were asking for all of that or not, but this is the way of behaviors. No one is lazy, we only act that way and there is always a reason.

B.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
— Master Yoda- Star Wars Episode I

Have a Calm and Peaceful Day.

David

Have you read Bryan Post’s FREE e-Book How to End Lying Now: Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do to Stop It? Post offers a radical new understanding of difficult children – adopted, foster, diagnosed, biological, or grandchild. The Post Institute has helped families and professionals move from fear to love in their struggles with challenging behaviors such as defiance, disrespect, self-mutilation, cutting, hoarding or gorging food, stealing lying and more! This free book can get you started – see your child’s behaviors in an entirely different light and learn how to apply this approach. A truly love based family-centered model for many behaviors and diagnoses.

Post Daily Parenting Inspiration and more on Facebook! Make sure you stop by our Facebook page often for Daily Dose of Parenting Oxytocin, Special Discounts, Offers, Videos, News and whatever else we can pass along to our committed parents and professionals.

Parenting Attachment Challenged Children “Hands-On” Home Study Course
Want Serious Help — Seriously? This may be the answer you have been praying for. There really can be peace in the family with your child. Bryan Post‘s Powerful new program is now available and includes the new 5 Hour Course on CD-Rom to accompany the workbook and 6 Hours of Video. This new program provides all the tools and understanding you need in order effectively parent your challenging kids. The home study course for parenting the child with challenging behaviors is life changing and is only meant for the serious parent or professional This course with accompanying workbook and the 5 hours of course material on CD-Rom to follow along will make the concepts easy to work with. You will have step-by-step instructions on how to create a therapeutic healing environment for children with trauma histories. If nothing else works for your child, this may be the training program you have been praying for. This best-selling package will start you on the road to restoring peace in your family and give you a running start! You will never know unless you try this, but you might always wonder.

For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.

If you’d like to receive a FREE copy of our Post Parenting Toolbox each week, sign up on our home page.
Click on the image here to see a sample of a Parenting Toolbox.

“Get The Belt” Parents Don’t Read This!

A truly love based parenting paradigm does not make sense to old paradigm, traditional fear-based parents (authority/dominance vs love/influence). In fact, it looks almost insane. As in, “you have got to be out of your mind Post”! But if we look at the world, we can hardly say that old paradigm, traditional, conventional, typical parenting approaches do much for building a peaceful world. Some say, “when I was a kid, I got a good whipping when I did wrong and I turned out alright”. When I listen to the media, I wonder how alright alright really is? In addition, you who turned out alright weren’t abandoned at 2 years old by a drug addicted mother, no father to speak of, and missed the most critical first 3 years of bonding and attachment with your parent. If you had a dad to whip you, you at least had a dad. Besides, once you have been punched in the eye by your 17 year old adopted son, you get the sense that this is not your ordinary child raising.

Typical kids roll their eyes, whine, complain and eventually do what they are told. Traumatized kids may punch you or worse. And you are lucky if they ever do what they are asked at times, at least without a world war. Even if you win you loose. I’d rather switch than fight. Here is a more typical traumatized situation, and some very non-typical guidance. It may give you something to think about. Remember, if you loose the relationship, you have no influence. If you’ve lost that— you’ve lost everything.

Dear Bryan—  Our 17 year old son is failing in school partially because he refuses to go part of the time and partially because he refuses to work.  The school has been very accommodating, but he has refused any alternate ideas offered.  I try to spend ten minutes with him each morning, waking him and being as pleasant as I can.  At night, he lays in his room and plays Game Boy or reads as late as he can.

Friday night, because we won’t buy him a class ring until he passes three semesters, he left the house at 6:30 p.m. with one girl and came back after ten and announced he was spending the weekend out of town with another girl.  He ignored our requests to not go.  He returned Sunday night as if he had just been out for a walk.  He acts like we owe him service, video game, and TV time.

Our 15 year old daughter complains because we “let” him do what he wants.  Tonight she is not home yet; it is 11:15 and she has a curfew for her probation at 9:00.  She is also back hanging out with a friend who she said is a bad influence.  She was just starting to work hard, so her grades were moving toward F.  Again, the school is accommodating and trying to help her.

It is going to take a lot more than breathing to get through this one.  I feel like there is no way to set limits.  I have considered telling my son he needs to pay rent if he is going to refuse to follow rules.  He doesn’t seem to have the ability to work, was taken off the schedule for his last job because he “lacked ambition.”  —Mom and Dad

Hello, Mom and Dad—  Here’s the hard part about the task you have taken on raising your children: You have to stop taking personally their life process and many of the decisions they shall make. The two of you have done a wonderful job by these children, but you often forget where they came from, what their earliest working blueprints are, and what their unconscious motivations might be.

Secondly, when one is acting out and another threatens to do the same, your anxiety rises even higher. Rather than getting upset with your daughter, remind her that she is very capable of making the same choices as her brother, and not only will the two of you be hurt, but she will most likely not be happy with where she ends up. Encourage her to do the right thing, but give her the option to do otherwise. Remember, she is going to do what she wants anyway; don’t create a dynamic where you are fueling her emotional state. Influence rather than control, maintain the relationship, and trust the process.

As for your son, it’s much the same; charging him to pay rent will only cause him to move out. The two of you have come so far with this kid, but remember 17 is still only 17 and there are still many years left for you to influence his life! You are in a scary place now, but is it that much more scary than where you have been in the past? So far you have kept these kids in school, and though they are failing, at least they make the effort to attend. They are not serious alcoholics, drug addicts, or depressives. Look at their history; it’s all there if that is the path they take, but I believe your influence will be greater. Don’t allow your fear to push them away. Work with what you have in the moment, today. And Always keep the door open. Always. —B.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
— Master Yoda- Star Wars Episode I

Have a Calm and Peaceful Day.

David

Have you read Bryan Post’s FREE e-Book How to End Lying Now: Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do to Stop It? Post offers a radical new understanding of difficult children – adopted, foster, diagnosed, biological, or grandchild. The Post Institute has helped families and professionals move from fear to love in their struggles with challenging behaviors such as defiance, disrespect, self-mutilation, cutting, hoarding or gorging food, stealing lying and more! This free book can get you started – see your child’s behaviors in an entirely different light and learn how to apply this approach. A truly love based family-centered model for many behaviors and diagnoses.

Post Daily Parenting Inspiration and more on Facebook! Make sure you stop by our Facebook page often for Daily Dose of Parenting Oxytocin, Special Discounts, Offers, Videos, News and whatever else we can pass along to our committed parents and professionals. This is a place to learn, play and interact with other committed parents and professionals and WIN prizes!

                  

Parenting Attachment Challenged Children “Hands-On” Home Study Course
Want Serious Help — Seriously? This may be the answer you have been praying for. There really can be peace in the family with your child. Bryan Post‘s Powerful new program is now available and includes the new 5 Hour Course on CD-Rom to accompany the workbook and 6 Hours of Video. This new program provides all the tools and understanding you need in order effectively parent your challenging kids. The home study course for parenting the child with challenging behaviors is life changing and is only meant for the serious parent or professional This course with accompanying workbook and the 5 hours of course material on CD-Rom to follow along will make the concepts easy to work with. You will have step-by-step instructions on how to create a therapeutic healing environment for children with trauma histories. If nothing else works for your child, this may be the training program you have been praying for. This best-selling package will start you on the road to restoring peace in your family and give you a running start! You will never know unless you try this, but you might always wonder.

For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – The Parenting Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids and many other challenging behaviors and diagnoses.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
• www.postinnercircle.com – Where Desperate Parents Come for Solutions and Support. You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?

If you’d like to receive a FREE copy of our Post Parenting Toolbox each week, sign up on our home page. Click on the image here to see a sample of a Parenting Toolbox.

Learn to Say Yes.

“Let Me Think About It. I Will Let You Know” – Bryan Post

I see this again and again in my life and the parents we meet. “NO”. When our children ask us for something, we parents are so caught up in our own fears that an almost instinctive (almost but not really) response to a child’s request is NO. Then begins the struggle, especially from our highly reactive kids, to justify, authoritize, dominate, overpower, and eventually say something like….”Now, because you have been so argumentative, ugly, mean, disrespectful and child-like, not only are you not going to get what you asked for, but I will now take away x,y and z, AND you won’t see the light of day till you are at least 35 years old!”

We expect our RAD kids who have little ability to reason things out – age not withstanding – yet we have no problem reacting out of our own fear/stress in an unreasonable way, without apologizing to our children just because we are the parents and if we do not consistently stand by our word (mo matter how unfair, reactive, over-reactive, unreasonable, il-logical) we will do our children an injustice and lead them to think that they can then manipulate us since NO may not mean no in the end – if they fight hard enough or are clever enough to get around us.

Bryan has suggested as a response (not a reaction) to a request is simply to say, “let me think about it. I will let you know”. Whew. Now, I actually get to “think” about it rather than “react” to it. This is so big that it could possibly change the future of the world. Really. And in that “thinking” about it, we can:

• Mindfully consider our own fear vs. the reality of what is being presented;
• Mindfully consider the request outside of the “do they DESERVE this privilege” and perhaps realize that DESERVING is just another conventional behavior modification, reward and punishment control/dominate approach. Many of our special kids will mostly NEVER deserve privileges when seen in the conventional way. They often just do not have the neural or psychological development used to judge such deservingness. So why hold them to an unreasonable standard. If you have any doubt, consider their past behaviors. Enough said.
• Mindfully consider our child’s needs vs. our own needs (since I don’t want to have to worry about you, I won’t let you go…or I don’t want you to fail)
• Mindfully consider that this may be not an “opportunity for a child to earn trust or prove themselves by not messing up” – but simply a learning experience that can occur whether they fail or succeed. Either way, they win. Both ways we win.
• Mindfully consider what your spouse would think – and then talk it out with them rather than be afraid that they might not like it if we said yes – so choosing the easy path of no.
• Mindfully consider a whole host of new variable, thoughts, feelings and emotional baggage that we have been carrying for years and heretofore have been unconscious of and allowed them to control us.
• Mindfully consider that many of our children just simply do not, may not ever or at least for a long while have what it takes to not disappoint us regularly.

The philosopher Aldous Huxley said that experience is not what happens to us, it is what we do with what happens to us. We parents cannot really control what happens to our children. We can however, influence what they do what with what happens to them with our love, our compassion, our wisdom and often just by our presence. These may turn out to be the greatest things we can give our children – and the world. And it may come more often if we learn to just say YES.

An article I read recently about Mindfulness training for incarcerated youths quoted one of the instructors, Vinny Ferraro, teacher-training director of the program who said “If you’re coming in there to teach them something, then forget it. But if you’re coming in there to be with them, to sit in the space with them and be with them in an authentic way, where you’re actually modeling what you’re asking them to do, then the sky’s the limit.”

To read article mentioned here, go to http://khyentsefoundation.com/2012/03/mba-projects-mindfulness-training-for-incarcerated-youth-yields-effective-results/

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
— Master Yoda- Star Wars Episode I

Have a Calm and Peaceful Day.

David
Have you read Bryan Post’s FREE e-Book How to End Lying Now: Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do to Stop It? Post offers a radical new understanding of difficult children – adopted, foster, diagnosed, biological, or grandchild. The Post Institute has helped families and professionals move from fear to love in their struggles with challenging behaviors such as defiance, disrespect, self-mutilation, cutting, hoarding or gorging food, stealing lying and more! This free book can get you started – see your child’s behaviors in an entirely different light and learn how to apply this approach. A truly love based family-centered model for many behaviors and diagnoses.

Post Daily Parenting Inspiration and more on Facebook! Make sure you stop by our Facebook page often for Daily Dose of Parenting Oxytocin, Special Discounts, Offers, Videos, News and whatever else we can pass along to our committed parents and professionals. This is a place to learn, play and interact with other committed parents and professionals and WIN prizes!

                  

Parenting Attachment Challenged Children “Hands-On” Home Study Course
Want Serious Help — Seriously? This may be the answer you have been praying for. There really can be peace in the family with your child. Bryan Post‘s Powerful new program is now available and includes the new 5 Hour Course on CD-Rom to accompany the workbook and 6 Hours of Video. This new program provides all the tools and understanding you need in order effectively parent your challenging kids. The home study course for parenting the child with challenging behaviors is life changing and is only meant for the serious parent or professional This course with accompanying workbook and the 5 hours of course material on CD-Rom to follow along will make the concepts easy to work with. You will have step-by-step instructions on how to create a therapeutic healing environment for children with trauma histories. If nothing else works for your child, this may be the training program you have been praying for. This best-selling package will start you on the road to restoring peace in your family and give you a running start! You will never know unless you try this, but you might always wonder.

For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – The Parenting Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids and many other challenging behaviors and diagnoses.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
• www.postinnercircle.com – Where Desperate Parents Come for Solutions and Support. You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?

If you’d like to receive a FREE copy of our Post Parenting Toolbox each week, sign up on our home page. Click on the image here to see the latest Parenting Toolbox.

The Great Parenting Show 2012

Parenting Experts Share Their Wisdom: Your Success!
FREE FREE FREE
Interactive – Submit Questions Online.
Replay Recordings Available for Limited Time!

Have you ever wondered:

How to discipline your children without ruining their
self-esteem?
How to put deal with your picky eaters?
How to protect your child from being bullied at school or online?
How to overcome your own parenting issues so as not to raise
children with hang-ups?
How to raise your children financially aware?

I know how hard parenting is, and that’s why I am excited
to tell you about a great show I’m taking part in. It’s
called the Great Parenting Show, the #1 Online Resource for
Parents and it promises to answer all of these questions
and some you haven’t even thought of!

This breakthrough 3- month series begins on Tuesday, March 13th at 10am PT, 11am MT, 12pm CT and 1pm ET  so register right now to get more information: ==>  http://greatparentingshow.com/cmd.php?af=1435900

Not only are the interviews available online, but they are free to you AND you can ask your top parenting question of me, and the other 23+ great parenting experts!

I will be speaking on Tuesday, March 20, 2012. My topic
will be Parenting a Child with Extreme Behaviors –Lying, Stealing, Defiance, Aggression – so don’t miss the chance to ask me your questions live over the web!  Register here: ==>  http://greatparentingshow.com/cmd.php?af=1435900

Here are just a few of the other very well-known speakers included on the Great Parenting Show:

** Dr. Jane Nelsen, is the prolific author of Positive Discipline and other parenting books, past Oprah guest and major influence on other educators,

** Neale Donald Walsh, best-selling author of Conversations with God, will talk about how to make spirituality accessible to your children,

** Sharon Lechter, coauthor of Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and creator of the Thrive Teen Game, will talk about raising financially literate children,

** Dr. Joe Rubino is an internationally acclaimed expert, success coach and best-selling author, talking about raising kids with high self-esteem,

**Shelly Lefkoe, author and parenting educator talking about making parenting easier and more fun, WITHOUT sabotaging your children’s future,

** Amy McCready,  is a popular parenting educator who will share her proven tips to  get your kids to behave without nagging, , reminding or yelling.

** Dr. Deborah Rozman, is a psychologist who has co-authored over a dozen books, as well as co-founded the HeartMath Institute, And so many more!

Check out the full line up here and register to get more information: ==>  http://greatparentingshow.com/cmd.php?af=1435900

Again, this three month weekly training is completely free to you! We’ll be sharing the best of the best strategies, tactics and processes we know to help you with your parenting issues and make the journey happier, and much more successful!

I hope you take advantage of this unique chance to have get answers to virtually all parenting issues!

Calls are free, so space is limited. Reserve your spot by clicking on this link now: ==>  http://greatparentingshow.com/cmd.php?af=1435900

After you register, keep an eye out for Jacqueline’s email with your details for listening in on the calls.

I look forward to interacting with you.

Choose Love,

B

P. S. By the way, if you can’t make the LIVE CALLS Every Tuesday & Thursday, don’t worry … they’ve got you covered! The interviews will be recorded and will be available after each show for a limited time so you won’t miss a thing. Make sure you sign up now to get these replay recordings. ==>  http://greatparentingshow.com/cmd.php?af=1435900

Have you read Bryan Post’s FREE e-Book How to End Lying Now: Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do to Stop It? Post offers a radical new understanding of difficult children – adopted, foster, diagnosed, biological, or grandchild. The Post Institute has helped families and professionals move from fear to love in their struggles with challenging behaviors such as defiance, disrespect, self-mutilation, cutting, hoarding or gorging food, stealing lying and more! This free book can get you started – see your child’s behaviors in an entirely different light and learn how to apply this approach. A truly love based family-centered model for many behaviors and diagnoses.

Post Daily Parenting Inspiration and more on Facebook! Make sure you stop by our Facebook page often for Daily Dose of Parenting Oxytocin, Special Discounts, Offers, Videos, News and whatever else we can pass along to our committed parents and professionals. This is a place to learn, play and interact with other committed parents and professionals and WIN prizes!

                  

Parenting Attachment Challenged Children “Hands-On” Home Study Course
Want Serious Help — Seriously? This may be the answer you have been praying for. There really can be peace in the family with your child. Bryan Post‘s Powerful new program is now available and includes the new 5 Hour Course on CD-Rom to accompany the workbook and 6 Hours of Video. This new program provides all the tools and understanding you need in order effectively parent your challenging kids. The home study course for parenting the child with challenging behaviors is life changing and is only meant for the serious parent or professional This course with accompanying workbook and the 5 hours of course material on CD-Rom to follow along will make the concepts easy to work with. You will have step-by-step instructions on how to create a therapeutic healing environment for children with trauma histories. If nothing else works for your child, this may be the training program you have been praying for. This best-selling package will start you on the road to restoring peace in your family and give you a running start! You will never know unless you try this, but you might always wonder.

For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

• www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
• www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – The Parenting Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids and many other challenging behaviors and diagnoses.
• www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
• www.postinnercircle.com – Where Desperate Parents Come for Solutions and Support. You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?

If you’d like to receive a FREE copy of our Post Parenting Toolbox each week, sign up on our home page. Click on the image here to see the latest Parenting Toolbox.