The purpose of this column is to educate and offer solutions to parents, teachers, and professionals struggling to care for children that have been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder.

Having been an attachment challenged child myself, spending time in foster care and then being adopted into a loving home that soon became an angry home, I have first hand experience on how difficult understanding and parenting your child can be.

Before I go into what you can do to help your child, allow me to tell you a little about my story growing up as such a child:

  •  I only spent in three months in foster care. However, anytime in foster care is too much time due to the traumatic break which occurs between the infant and biologic mother at birth. For decades the impact of this early attachment break has been discounted.
  • It is impossible for me to tell my story without also including my sister’s story because it creates the framework for my life’s work. Let me explain.

Though both adopted before we were four months old, my sister’s life has been the polar opposite to mine from day one. I was carried to term and moved quickly into a foster home, she was premature and had to spend her first three months in an incubator. My mother tells the story that when she and my father first saw me I was smiling. On the other hand, upon seeing my sister for the first time she was crying. Because we now know so much about neuroscience and physiologic patterns, I believe these first interactions established the framework for the relationship my sister and parents had from that point forward. To be continued.

Choose Love,

B.

If you have children – adopted, biological or foster – and would like to learn how to help heal early truama or attachment issues, visit From Fear to Love: Parenting Difficult Adopted Children by Bryan Post.
A Parenting Must-Have for Adopted, Foster or Biological Children…
“Honestly, it’s the best parenting handbook I’ve seen for someone with a child that has difficult behaviors… Even if you aren’t into reading, this book is a must have. If you are thinking of adopting a child, please read this book. If you have adopted a child, please read this book. If you yourself have been adopted, please read this book. If you’re a parent and have nothing to do with adoption in any manner, please read this book.” — Book Review By Literary Litter
There are FREE resources, videos and articles available for helping families with children with trauma, RAD, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Attachment Disorders, ASD, Autism Spectrum Disorder and more at www.postinstitute.com, www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com, www.postinnercircle.com and oxytocincentral.com.
There is hope. There is help.